If you’ve been following my blog or social media, you probably know this year has been one of my hardest on record. It may not have been as challenging as 25, when I went through cervical cancer treatment and lost my fertility, but it has been emotionally draining all the same. My sister died unexpectedly in March, and I’ve been in a bit of a fog since.
It’s part of the grieving process. It’s also sheer exhaustion. I love all the travel I do for work, especially being able to bring my young son, Chayton, along. However, long travel days, including train rides and crossing time zones, and then needing to be “on” for events and meetings can take a toll.
My remedy for burnout
My longtime work friend and respected journalist Amanda Miller Littlejohn has an upcoming book, The Rest Revolution: How to Reclaim Your Rhythm and Conquer Burnout When Overworking Has Become the Norm. I’m looking forward to reading it because I know it will be filled with smart insights on dealing with stress and burnout.
But I also know myself. One of the best remedies for when I’m feeling overwhelmed or overworked is a beach vacation – ideally to a warm, tropical place with cold drinks, good music, and gently lapping waves.
After wishing for just that all summer long – and not being successful – I finally managed a brief vacation in Puerto Rico last month to celebrate my husband Rocky’s birthday.
I shut off work emails and lived in the moment, soaking up the sun, eating amazing food, and simply being. At the end of each day, I was exhausted in a good way. It was exactly what I needed.
Feeling seen by a kids’ show
During this downtime, I had a random but intense connection with Bluey, an Australian kids’ show about a family of dogs including Bluey, her little sister Bingo, and their parents Bandit and Chilli. It’s on Disney+, and Chayton likes watching it.
The episode, “Onesies,” came on – where Bluey’s Aunty Brandy visits them for the first time in four years. There’s a moment when Brandy gets somewhat emotional when trying to explain to Bluey why she’s been away. Later, Bluey, who is wearing a zebra onesie but had wanted her sister’s cheetah onesie, asks her mom, Chilli, about the moment. It went like this:
Bluey: “Mom, why did Aunty Brandy want to leave? Is she sad? And why have we only seen her once in our lives?”
Chilli: “You know how you really want Bingo’s cheetah onesie?”
“Yeah, more than anything.”
“But it doesn’t fit you, so you can’t have it. And there’s not really anything anyone can do to make it fit, yeah?”
“Yeah…”
“Well, there’s something Aunty Brandy wants more than anything as well, but she can’t have it. There’s not really anything anyone can do.”
“Why can’t she just have the thing she wants?”
“Because… it’s not meant to be.”
What was Aunty Brandy’s deepest desire? To become a mom.
The power of sharing our stories
I used to be Aunty Brandy. My sister had two kids whom I love like siblings, and I’d mostly made peace with not having children of my own. But it still hurt sometimes.
Then, I was incredibly blessed when a fellow Cervivor community member donated an embryo, allowing me to have my son via a gestational surrogate two years ago this month. If I’d seen that Bluey episode before Chayton, I probably would have had a full-on ugly cry. Still, I would have felt deeply seen.
As a mom, I was impressed that a kids’ show would tackle such a personal and important issue, one that many people don’t talk about openly. It’s why, at Cervivor, we encourage cervical cancer survivors to share their stories. Doing this is empowering and transformative and has the potential to give someone hope or even save a life.
Lessons learned
In the end, my trip to Puerto Rico was more than just a much-needed beach vacation – it was a powerful reminder of resilience and the healing that comes from being truly vulnerable.
It made me even more motivated to support others who are working toward their dreams of building a family. (If you’d like to help a cervical cancer survivor on her path to parenthood, please consider contributing to the Cervivor Baby Gift Fund, launched last year. We’ll be giving out our first gift soon, and I’m counting down the days!)
Watching the “Onesies” episode made me emotional but it also filled me with deep gratitude. It drove home how important it is for people to see their lives and struggles represented – even in a kids’ show.
Thank you, Bluey, for sharing this profound truth in a way that anyone can understand.
xo,